I know I'm speaking to a very small audience here, but it's ok. It's kind of weird having to go underground this way- but it has to be done and nobody reading this blog isn't trusted.
Side effects have reared their ugly head where the burns have finally come to the skin's surface- red patchy scaly - but I'm keeping it at bay with a mess of goos and creams and nice smelling things. We're doing ok. The lymphedema is actually getting a lot better too.
Been real tired- I'm at the point of it just being enough already- I was talking to Mark the other night - this man has been my rock and passenger through this nutso ride. God bless that man.
I explained to him that I don't think there can be anything else they can do to me. I've been poisoned, cut open and burned.
For cancer.
This is how we treat things we don't understand-
All this research and money and pink ribbons- for what? This cancer accounts for a third of all cancer cases.
And nobody knows why we all get breast cancer. Not after all the billions of dollars spent and pink Kitchenaids sold. After all these years?
Duh. All that money raised and we still don't know is bullshit.
I have done more reading and research on breast cancer being caused by environment and the lack of accurate studies out there is APPALLING.
Yes- it's great to get the drugs that help. Lots of big breakthroughs there. But finding out WHY seems to be low on the priority lists of people.
Because the answer to the "Why" usually involves the drug companies, or the pesticides the drug companies make, or the plastics we use everywhere- all of those are commodities. The endocrine disrupting chemicals I believe caused my cancer were rampant at my workplace- being vaporized all day long with no ventilation. If these things are terrible- why are they being used so carelessly?
And I hate seeing the same chemicals I was around that cleaned screens and ink also being listed as food ingredients. Shit is crazy.
I can be that person that says "everything causes cancer" - because - it does. But in high volumes at careless levels - this goes on everywhere in every industry.
It seems the only way to escape all of it is homestead and make all your own food and clothing.
Which duh- is unrealistic.
I started making my own laundry soap, my own breakfast cereal, pasta, breads, salads. Stuff we can do ourselves, we do. My veggie garden should be starting up again soon too- with a better outcome. Chickens I'm sure will be down the line at some point.
Point is- I have read more literature about the epidemiology of breast cancer cells that I ever cared to in the last few weeks. Specifically how chemcials and hormones affect our delicate balances- and chemicals violently tip those scales. Violently.
Women who grew up near farms and agriculture have the highest incidence of breast cancer, but our non-organic food is safe?
The women working in the places that can food- (chemicals line cans) - high incidences of breast cancer. But canned food is everywhere.
Women working with plastics. High incidences of breast cancer. Plastics are everywhere.
I feel like I was the lab rat that showed that high levels of crap could affect you. My hormones raged out so bad after I started working there- I never knew the connection. Painful periods. Heavy bleeding.
I spoke with a lawyer and I have to sit down with my oncologist and Phyllis and hash this all out and let them know the entire scope of what i was around. Its hard to explain to someone on the outside how bad it really was. But I think with the 300+ pages of clear evidence of endocrine disruptors being inhaled all day long caused breast cancer, they would agree. So I am pleading my case to them. I have confidence in their intelligence to comprehend what I am trying to prove. I need them to substantiate my findings to proceed.
I also found a website last night of different printers talking in a message board forum- I saw a thread titled "Show us your shop"- or something to that effect.
All the photos - and I man ALL- showed spotless shops you could have eaten off the floors.
Nothing like what i worked in at ALL. and ventilation all over the place.
One guy worked in a shop like mine- posted photos (but even THEY had ventilation) - and he got accosted for the mess. I was not supposed to be around all that solvent soaked lint either. It was everywhere.
I was in a bad place. And Methylene Chloride is serious business. A simple google search for "Methylene Chloride and Breast Cancer" has some surprising results. But I was labeled paranoid for being concerned.
And not one person who was a professional ever said anything about the ventilation (or severe lack therof) - to us at least.
OSHA inspection is still going on last I checked and it was going on 7 days. They will come back with an abhorrant report.
Get mad at me, coworkers. Boss. I have every right to do what I did because I got CANCER. I ruined your business, boo-hoo. You ruined my life with your carelessness. Not sure how anyone could stand behind or support my boss now with his decision.
I just wish --- wish I would have known all of this before I lost my breasts and right arm for a buck.
I am not one to sit back quietly. When this comes to light- shit is going to CHANGE- for the chemicals women have to be around- my old industry- and bosses like mine who put their workers in harms way won't be allowed to do so anymore. and you will hear me from the rooftops. I'll be more annoying that Snooki.
Hear me roar.
Mama Bear is ready to go.
Don't mess with a DeLorme.
more added::: 4:40 PM.
I was painting today- like real painting! watercolors, pens..... after about 3 hours of drawing- this arm starts to swell up again. and it hurrrrt. My art is messed with.... I cannot even draw a simple line without the nerves acting up. You mess with my art- you really mess with me, now.
shit is war.
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