the mummy

DAY37

I woke up tired liike last time, next to an equally exhausted husband and little Melody between us, snuggling and hugging in her half sleep saying "mama" and "dada".

That makes my morning. Especially when I feel like this. Mark got the kids up and fed them breakfast and settled down with coffee and his daily guitar practice exercises. I keep hearing "Ssssh! don't scream! Mommy needs sleep! she doesn't feel good!"
What a sweet family I have. But there's no immunity ever for a screaming and happy 21 month old so happy to hear herself make such a noise, to come running into my room, wanting to jump on the bed and give me hugs, no matter how much I want to sleep. I'm ok with that.

On and off sweating all day, I go to simply lie down and relax these aching legs, only to be disturbed by an overabundance of thoughts, some of which are nonsensical and grotesque horror movie like images that seem to come from the dregs of my brain. It's par for the course I guess. I hate those images, so nothing left to do but get up, go sit out on the couch and watch TV or talk to someone. But noone's here right now. I'm pacing the house slowly like Boris Karloff as the Mummy.
arrrghhhh. don't taaaake my precioussss ice creeeeam......
I'm up for a few minutes to write this- then back down to sleep.

Mom took the kids today around the same time Mark left to teach his lessons- about 4pm. Mark will be home later around 10- enough time to help me drag my body up and down the hallway again. It's more comfortable to me now every day to stay detached, at first it's a bizarre floating over myself feeling- now it's normal.
My bones hurt, I'm doing my best to psyche myself out of the headache and throwing up this time, and I have to be careful about food because the last time I ate something during this Neulasta storm, my body attached onto that too as a bad experience and I can't eat it anymore.
I managed to crawl into the car and Mark and the kids accompanied me to the chiropractor earlier today- in the hopes to loosen the bones and achy muscles. So far so good. I was out of whack all on my right side too.
Not a good day today.
Right now I just wanna lie down and puke at the same time.

My ADD self that needs to be doing something and getting stuff done all the time hates days like this. Loathes it. lol.

So off to bed I go, with hopes for a much easier night than 2 weeks ago around this time.
mind over matter.....




evening, folks....

xo
b