I love my families

DAY34

I had the best time at Stonehenge. The family that surrounds this place is something special.
Just so healing. Music is a huge part of my life. Spending the weekend with the kindred musician souls and such good friends, live music in a great creek side setting in the hills of Pennsylvania.
I also witnessed Mark's drummer Neil find his wedding ring after losing it the night before 20 feet out into the flowing  pebbly creek. Amazing to see. Knee deep after 10 minutes of slow searching , he looked down and it was right among the rocks. All those people walking out there, and it stayed put.
A round of applause, a hug and kiss later and it was magical.
I had an ok time with everything except for a small moment in the morning where I just was hit all at once with a headache, and sounds of people talking and sunshine really started to bother me. I felt really strange.
Everything feels strange lately- I'm in a perpetual state of out-of-body experiencing.  So if I ever happen to be a conversation with you, please pardon my spaced out-ness if it seems that way. I am listening, there is just a strange data processing delay in the neurons somewhere.

I needed to sit down - and be in a  quiet place and i needed food as well. It was weird.About a half hour of that until I felt better. Thanks Elise :) I think it was a culmination of myself being out of my house and around so much amazing people. Energy so deep and so lush with rich hearts, it was physically overwhelming.
And my lovely mama to be Julia gave me the cutest powder aqua colored wig. It makes me feel like 80s Kate Jackson if she was Martian. I also got a gorgeous necklace from my friend Sean that has all kinds of cancer energy busting rocks in it. awesome.

Words just can't describe the overall weekend though. Blissed out and it just felt like the biggest and best hug ever.



I can do without the crazy number of Pennsylvania drivers who snail it down a left lane. 2 hours of that and I was happy to be driving in Jersey at that point. Jesus.



Tomorrow is Chemo #3.
I'm really not looking forward to it at all right now. The aftermath, all of it. Good thing Mark's work nights this week all end early.
Mark is coming with me and it's an early appointment so I'll be out early.
So I'm hydrating like crazy and happy to have Melody back, even though she is acting like an imp right now.

I am tired from the 4.5 hour drive home, very grateful for a shower and soap right now and I'm going to drink yet more water and fall fast ASLEEP.

Big day tomorrow.
I go to sleep tonight with a heart swelled with gratitude tonight.
I love y'all. :)
(hi rocco!)

chemo eve #2.

DAY21

Chemo #2 tomorrow. with the first dose of Neulasta.
I almost feel like chemo #1 till now was sort of a vacation period- no neulasta, and it was 3 weeks between #1 and tomorrow. Now they go to every 2 weeks.
I'm not gonna lie- I hear this Neulasta shot sucks. And I'm a little tentative.
Last chemo- I got to go to the chiropractor the day after- and I think the adjustment really helped since my only major side effect was being tired. The nausea was there too.
I had enough energy to pull off 9 hour workdays most of the time, too. I felt great up until these last few days where walls just came and bonked me in the face outta nowhere, no matter what time it was.
I guess it's just a little anxiety- but my belly's doing somersaults and I just feel a little on edge.
My legs are also itchy but I think that's the chemo working on me not having to shave my legs since I noticed the hair is also falling out on them too. A plus!
I had a great weekend where I got to see my niece, my sister Bethany and brother Jon- I miss them and wish they lived closer sometimes.

My mom is coming with me tomorrow.

I also made it a whole day of wearing the wig at work, too. By the end of the day, it just felt like a tight hat.
The new blue hairdo arrives Thursday!

Got my snack bag packed and I even snuck in some organic oreos.
A little nervous. I'm going to lose myself in some graphic design now and get some very well hydrated sleep.
Boring post today. It would have been more exciting I'm sure if Bruce Hornsby hadn't canceled tonight's show. Boo. I was looking forward to that for weeks.
Next time! You too, Neil Diamond!
The rollercoaster rides again tomorrow ...

xo
love&light
-b

(i was at this show! - and i still remember it's awesomeness!) yay music, yay bruce, yay musical family .........
!