Woke up not being able to drag myself out of bed- but after some coffee and water, I was up and about. More run down than yesterday. Keeping my nausea at bay the best I can......It hit me this morning how much Melody is affected subconsciously throughout all of this as well as Azalea is. Melody will be 2 in August, she has no concept of life or death or sick yet. But she does need a mommy and I'm going to do the best I can. She has become a little bit more temperamental and whiny since this al happened. She knows.
Since she was a born, she would settle down to rest and grab a handful of my hair while she was nursing, or had her bottle...and it would soothe her to sleep. I'll miss that every night.
Normal everyday activities like changing her diaper, giving her a bath, making her food I can do, playing with her, but it's different where I just haven't had the energy. I feel as if this kid is going to miss out on 100% of a mommy with all of this bullshit going on. It's making me a little sad today. This does not detract from my fight though. I will do whatever I can to give this child the most normal not-sick mother I can muster. I'm grateful for the boardwalk and beach being so close by too. The kids LOVE the weekly trips to the boardwalk. It's one of the best part of the summer :) I can't wait.
Memorial day weekend though, I'm staying close to home. In years past - we always went up to Camp KeeWanee in Massachusetts for Strangecreek. Mark played and I vended the goods- it was a nice getaway from the inaugural bennie weekend. It was a nice sight to see them all migrating away from the beach as we drove over the Driscoll Bridge on our way home Monday. Mark is still going up there- he's playing at 1pm on Saturday, so I won't have him around all day Saturday. I think my brother Jon should be around to help.
I think I'll be ok though. Azalea's been doing great in the role of a sort of babysitter for Melody when I need to rest. I have 2 of the most awesome children...... and an awesome husband- Mark hasn't been feeling very well and still continues to kick ass around the house the best he can despite his sinus cold...
I'm loaded up on greens, and juicing is the daily bread. <3 Besides some nausea, I'm feeling ok. Still very hungry. :)
yay!
