I can't believe it's been 40 days since my first chemo. If this was the Bible, I would have found the promised land by now, or begat Enoch or something like that.
Yesterday I took it easy, but I needed to get out of the house, so in this crazy heat of 90 degrees, we took the kids for a very brief visit to a local farm that has farm animals you can feed carrots too. Melody chased a giant black Chinese chicken around and imitated the goats. It was a riot. Not easy being in the sun so much, but I hydrated and stayed good. Azalea went over a friend's house later on and came back and I managed to get both my kids back by the end of the day, which made me smile and it felt good to have them close to me.
I also got gifted a massive amount of beets, broccoli, peppers, herbs and cabbage!!
I also made it a point to visit the beauty supply store, which is an AutoZone for chemotherapy patients needing to maintain fabulous.
Eyelashes, wigs, scarves, eyebrow pencils, fun stuff. My eyebrows and eyelashes are next to fall out - I hear every hair goes bye bye with Taxol. I love shimmery eyeshadow crayons. in green.
I could go nuts in there, especially since I should be a member of Nail Polish Anonymous. I have a nail polish problem too - which is soon going to grow into an eye makeup problem if I don't keep it in check.....
I got a new short wigs and some colored hair to decorate with. Absentmindedly, I went to put the feather clip into my hair and realized. hey. I don't have any.
I don't miss it.
Especially when it's 95 degrees outside.
Today we went to a pig roast my boss had at his house. I managed to last 2 hours before needing to go home, but the kids had such a great time in the pool. I got to hang with people I don't see that much anymore, but I miss very much. I work in a place where we hug each other. You don't get that very often in life.... I miss old life of going to work everyday and not dealing with cancer. I miss having more than 4 good hours of energy in a day.
Sometimes it gets to be too much where I just wish I could step out of this reality for an hour and reassemble. But i can't. Or maybe I can with enough fake eyelashes and eyebrow pencils from the beauty supply store.
....either way it takes a toll on ya.
I am not gonna lie.
Low isn't a spot where I want to be, but I visit sometimes, but I make sure it never ever gets the best of me like that lake that ate the horse in the Neverending Story.
That wouldn't be fun.
I just want to get this last AC chemo appointment and following week done and over with already. It messes with you after a while both physically and mentally.
I keep on keepin' on.... for everyone and me.
So the heat and emotion had it's fun this weekend.....
Tired, nauseous, more stupid stabs of bone pain.....i am so tired of these drugs.
I need to lie down (surprise!)
and happy that I do not have hair on my head today!!!
onward Falcor!!
