Today's theme is upheaval.
Not really much to elaborate on, but life throws us some crazy curve balls. The Giant Wave O' Stress is at hurricane levels. Personal stuff. It sucks when it's personal stuff.
I don't think I will ever get anyone to see what it's like to live through this, if they haven't already. Never ever.
Go away Hurricane Stress. GO AWAY.
Today was radiation #7- first of the week - I am shuttled between doctors and social workers and nurses today- trying to get answers and get this over with.
No real progress finding out what happened last Thursday yet.
Really not much to report on as for radiation other than the burns get a little worse each day as with the fatigue- SE's from Tamoxifen aren't letting up either. I'm soaking the bed and pillows every night. I wonder if it's dehydrating me. My body is at it's wits end.
I'll make the observation that people's true colors show when stress hits and crises happen. And when cancer pays a visit. Instead of staring it down, we react and really tend to isolate others in our reaction. I have seen sides of some people that I just don't ever care to deal with anymore and I am perfectly fine with it.
Life is too short to be kissing any ass.
There.
I'm growing fists and feet that stand tall and are taking root. I refuse to back down on anything anymore and I have made the conscious decision- along with being involved in every moment- to do what's right for me and my family. And the definition of family are the ones that practice kindness, basic respect, and unconditional love and general courtesy to everyone in their circles despite issues. Not just blood ties, folks.
I have a wonderful family and I am thankful every single day for them.
I am going to say NO more often.
I am going to live my life for me. and my kids. and my husband. That's all.
No more doormat.
It's amazing how much we lie down in life and don't even realize it........
grr!
xo
b
