That wasn't my last blog post before surgery.
This one is.
I had so much today but didn't want to make you sit there and read endlessly about the jersey shore, hurricanes and cancer. I'm sure we have all had enough of it.
I don't think I have ever wanted a cigarette so badly right now.
So we have 5 inches of snow today. Just waiting for locusts, the plague,,,,,anything else?
Tomorrow- we leave for Mount Holly. We have a hotel room for 3 days to make base camp while the matriarch redefines breasts and gets this shit out of me once and for all.
Tomorrow- they detect sentinel lymph nodes.... Friday- all gone. everything. from the chest wall on out.
not to mention my spare tire- which I will never miss.
the song above is one that I have always loved- in fact probably once of the best albums ever produced.
The lyrics say it all. and now it has new meaning.
I'm gonna kick the Sunday outta cancer.
99 posts.
It's just hitting hard right now. an uncut flesh with a mind resistant to any conventional fixins.
I put my life into their hands. Literally.
here we go.
24 hours till the cancer shows its faces and gets the hell OUT.
I am anxious. Nervous.
Scared. Excited. Freaking Out. Freaking IN......
Azalea had a good question- if I get my armpits cleaned out of stuff- will I still have to wear deodorant?.
Kid's got a point.
what do I do with the last day of having breasts?
That is SO weird to say. all of this is SO weird.
I laugh to myself when I give myself the visual of finally coming out of surgery and looking down and I have these massive boobs. lol. I doubt it, but you never know how much fat is in your stomach. Doc says they might be bigger.
The 1 shot at a free boob job thanks to President Clinton and the 105th congress - he better make them bigger. And to the jackasses who voted no on that bill- shame on you.
And as well with my eternal 12 year old sense of humor and question (it keep you young)- I think of all those people who had out of body experiences during surgery.
While I don't really care to see myself being operated on, I think it would be kinda cool to have my dad visit me, or be able to fly around the hospital.
As long as I come back=- I don't want the white light and tunnel yet.
So many thoughts going through my head- it's hard to file all of them.
And I worry about my Jersey Shore too.
Leaving work for the last time in 2012 was a little hard- we got slammed by Sandy- which shut down our work for a whole week- a week that I was supposed to train and help and get things stable so I could leave it- I kinda didn't have enough time- but I have faith in my boss and my embroidery lady. I also figured out how to work from home remotely on the work computer so hooray!
We leave the shore here for Mount Holly around 1. Blue injection happens at 3. go home to hotel and try to sleep. Nothing after midnight.
omg omg omg.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
Nancy- if I didn't have you and your words through this whole ordeal, I would have been lost. Seriously. Thank you.
here we go kids.
.....................................
xo
b
