Today was numero 2!
It was also the last day of physical therapy- which ended in a nice 5 minute session of deep tissue massage to the Howdy Doody Cording Ropey Armpit Corral.
Broke it all up nicely- and did more insane excruciating exercise to build up the arm... After my hour was up, I said goodbye - and bid my farewell to another stage of the breast cancer carousel and additional co-pay.
Now radiation is the new gig in town; I feel like I have that "job" again. The same feeling I had with weekly chemos between the drive to Mount Holly, the standard walk down the hallway and proverbial recpetionist who knows everything about you - the place you gotta be all the time, for the time being.
It's an easy procedure I'm going local for in Toms River. Same hospital where I had both my kids. Nice place, although it isn't my first choice. It's most certainly not my last, though- which is good.
I walk in, go to the ground floor and that's their cancer floor. The chemo room is one side, radiation down the hallway.
They call you in over the loudspeaker, then you walk through a hallway- take everything off from the waist up and put a gown on- the techs then settle you in, line you up to the lasers, and off you go. They zap you with a giant expensive laser pointer (no pain) for all of about 5 minutes with the big machine and that's all. With mine- I need to have a warm washcloth over the breast and armpit every other day. The tech says it brings the dose closer to the skin and helps the distribution of the radiation. It's a cumulative effect, so I'm still patiently waiting on the part where I sting, burn and should be glowing...... There's also a small part of my lung that's receiving radiation too- which kind of freaks me out since my lung is fine- it's just bad luck that it's in between the breast and The Armpit Corral & Rodeo. Like some weird internal organ love triangle. Or a really good episode of 'Cheaters'.
I also got to meet shortly with Dr. D'Ambrosio the radiation oncologist. He likes American Pickers too.It was a quick visit.
Dr. Miller said I didn't have to have the radiation in his opinion. Phyllis insisted on it.
So basically this is my new every day.
And I got my daily appt. time changed to 9am, just to keep with tradition.
And Rocco- if you are reading this, they have a bell here.
When you talk to others' about their radiation experiences- obviously they are all different- but the main mention is the burns.
Hopefully this stays down like the bad fingernails I hardly got.
I left felt feeling a little funny- but nothing I was worried about. The tingling and crazy shooting sensations in my armpit was most likely the nerve regeneration and the deep tissue funtime from earlier.
Then I got home- and found myself tired. And strangely craving a cigarette so badly too. For whatever reason. Cancer's not stressful or anything.
I am not sure this is normal either, but today I started seeing a little bit of spots in my vision, then it would go away- and then a few feelings of just being slightly out of my body.
As if my body has jumped through enough medical hoops, here's another one and I'm discovering tricks it can do.
A few more hours go by and after a cup of tea, nauseousness sets in and bam- I threw up.
I didn't want to- maybe it's the Tamoxifen?
Or just my body hating all of this?
Or psychic stuff?
It was bad though. I felt better afterwards.
Googling it later on- it seems to be a side effect of radiation. Never heard anyone say they threw up from radiation. In fact- I am assuming this to be the 'easiest' of all the treatments.
I shouldn't assume though. It's not good to do as we have seen from past experiences here.
So a new upheaval- new regime.
It's carried over into home life- my kids are their own weird sleep cycles- way out from the norm- and they're sniffly again.
Azalea however is thrilled that she can now Skype with her cousin in NC, and watch movies on her new Kindle- that's she's been buried in the screen or playing with her sister on her winter break.
Her and Mark went out for a daughter date to see the Hobbit which I thought was sweet. I always loved doing stuff like that with my dad when I was a kid.
Melody is Melody- rambunctious and spitfire loaded with fireworks and hugs and funny faces. Love that kid. Everyone is having a nice winter break, home and together.
Side effects don't take a break though- I wish they would. The chemo brain and confusion is getting better at least a little bit.... and I'm having the menopause symptoms come back too for some reason or another. Hello hot flashes and knee pain! welcome back!
My hair is growing back like a champ, it's a nice shade of pale ice blue from the last bits of the aquamarine rinse I did last week. It's getting darker, too. And finally getting to a nice length where I can allllmost spike it up into a tiny mohawk.....
When I started this blog- I hadn't yet cut off all my long hair- and I had expressed that i would miss Melody's bedtime handful that she would grab very much.
Tonight when I laid down with her so she would fall asleep, her eyes started to get heavy and she fought Miss Lily White's party invite....Tried so hard to stay awake.
She reached over with her sweet, plump little half asleep hand, and grabbed gently a handful of my stubby cat fur-like hair.
For the first time in months.
And went to sleep.
My heart melted and that's when I finally felt like I am on the road back home.
A new home, but now finally starting on the way back home.
What a long strange trip it's been.
