Day 3 of Taxol is going ok so far- I'm staying home from work this week to let the drug settle in and get rest and gauge how the future weeks should be. Yesterday I felt ok. Pretty great actually.
My friend Beth and her son Silas came over yesterday and spent some time - the kids played and shared crayons and had a good time. Beth gave me a collective effort of a bunch of really awesome women- a set of flags - with each flag designed by a lovely and awesome friend using fabric scraps, and words of encouragement and love on them, decorated every which way- and Beth sewed them on a single ribbon so I could hang them up all at once. Like prayer flags. It was sweet and I cried and every single flag means so much to me.
I also had the appointment with the reconstructive surgeon yesterday in Moorestown to decide on what protocol to go with on surgery- it was discussed and I'll have what they call a "flap" surgery- which basically is me getting cut from hip to hip- they take the fat out of my belly, and then make new boobs with it, insert them to their new home in my chest and there I go. No implants, because it isn't recommended to go through radiation with. And Dr. Patel assured me that I had enough around my belly to make a fair set, so here I go building with some ice cream. It's weird - but it's something I'm looking forward to- the tummy tuck and boob job. Granted I won't ever be starring anytime in a Russ Meyer movie, but it's a little bonus at the end. A little gift as I see it. or 3.
It involves very tiny microsurgery to sew together veins and arteries to keep the blood supply going- as long as that works, the procedure works. Which I have faith in. I got rockstars from Fox Chase right here.
I also took Azie to AC Moore for a little trip with just us and a gift for her for being such a big help and awesome big sister. Crazy exciting day. Watch out Keith Richards! I got your number and probably more drugs in my system today than you've had in any hour of the 1970s! Look at me go.
Nearing the end of a wild day fueled on steroids and chemo medications, I put the kids to bed and settled in with a late Yanks game, to which ended up with A Rod getting his hand broken by this King Felix guy from the other team. I'm not happy with this new DL list entry. boo. King Felix, you bad man.
Today I woke up tired most of all, really kind of dizzy- I wouldn't trust myself to drive like this. I can do stuff- just a bizarre lightheaded feeling is all around me today. I want to lie down, but the youngest one doesn't allow for that right now. I am being zapped of energy today very easily. Thankfully an iPod touch is keeping her attention nice and quietly. Grandma is stopping by to get her soon since Mark has an early evening of teaching lessons.
I don't feel very good. But I don't feel as bad as the other chemo. It's just different. Weird too.
Knees hurt too. I wasn't able to get out to the chiropractor today either. Just a down day.
Not sure if it's the drug or just the times but I just feel like I'm floating through the day. Not really focused on much...... kinda strange.
The surgery is my next frontier. Right now I'm waiting on the hospital planets and personnel to align and give me a definite surgery date so I can add it to the battle map. A major wall for me to climb over so to say. I could say it's a fear, but I'm done subscribing to that anymore. It's so toxic to thoughts. Enough reading of statistics, generic rates, percentages and numbers, blah blah blah. Enough. I'm tired of it and I'm taking out more garbage.
I'll climb the wall and be on the other side a little bruised, but further along my path just a little bit more. The path does not end when radiation is done or the all clear is given. This will go on for the rest of my life. Cancer unfortunately will always be that monster under the bed given my staging.
It's a big thought to occupy your head all the time. Just add it to the rest of them and have a party. Welcome to my porch.
:)
xo
