Time finds these posts farther and farther apart. I think about it though- it has kept me sane in the worst of times, that's for sure. I got a new laptop so I can be mobile finally in my work so it helps when it's 3am and I can type in my sewing room and not in the kitchen in front of the neighborhood. It's easier when you don't feel well.
...
And here I am, with my familiar friend insomnia- sitting in my house at 3:16am- been up since 1 of course, right before the husband gets home from his endless evenings in Belmar recording this album. It's a big project for him. I'm excited for it.
What's new.
Well vacation was great, The house was great- the time was great. Worth a few extra bills to be able to be 42 feet over the ocean, a nice clean house, being able to see my family. We go every year- but this year was the "screw you cancer" vacation. The year before I had been freaking out because I was due for my biopsy the morning after getting back. May 9th was 6 months since the surgery- and I was due to see Dr. Miller oddly enough the morning after getting back from vacation.
Of course in OUR HOUSE, wellness is never a long term option.
Melody had had a rash on vacation, a simple diaper rash that got a little aggravated by a 10 hour trip in a carseat. Red patches, but no broken skin. While we were at the beach, she had been playing in the ocean's pools, and I was glad since "sticking it in the ocean" always cleared up anything.
On our last day, it hadn't cleared up- and in fact had gotten worse. and kinda ugly looking. (I'll spare you the photographs) She had developed 2 small hard bump on both legs, opposite each other on her inner thigh right above her knees. Also, 2 smaller ones behind a knee. They didn't look good and my mother;s instinct kicked in. My niece who had been staying with my sister in NC, was a nurse and had MRSA in the same spot and she said it looked just like that and it was painful.
Keep an eye on it, she said. No fevers or vomiting- she should be ok.
Ok.
Here we go. Another thing come to kill us...why?!
We drove home cautiously- the kid threw up 3 times on the way home and we were constantly on the phone with grandma and my niece and oh man. scary shit. By the time we made it home, we gave her a bath and I had been soaking the bumps in tea tree oil for 24 hours, and it wasn't working like it should have. This was not a zit, or simple ingrown hair.
The next morning, I cancelled Dr. Miller's appointment (the 3 hour round trip? no thanks) and took Melody to the pediatrician. She took one look and kinda knew what it was. and gave us 2 options.
1- take her to the ER and have these lanced, drained and sewn up, and tested for MRSA 2. give her MRSA antibiotic medication and if it works, she had MRSA. I knew she did, and had to spare this kid the hell of a hospital again.
So we took the #2 option, and took the chance. No time to relax since coming home- it turned into wound care central for 24-7 for a week straight. This infection is HORRIBLE. and ugly. The poor kid wouldn't eat, couldn't walk- I consulted Dr. Google and discovered this stuff called Manuka Honey.
They had it in a health food store a half hour away-- and Mark ran right out. It's 40 bucks a jar, but this stuff says it KILLED MRSA and healed the horrible sores it caused. It was constant baths, new sheets, sterile laundry, vigilance to make sure everything was contained- but this honey was applied to her wounds and it got BAD. It took on the forms of Dante's stages of hell- this poor child....and this stuff kills you if it infects your blood. That honey was put on clean sterile gauze and wrapped onto the wounds directly every 3 hours and I watched this thing drain and heal itself like nobody's business. A wound that was supposed to stay open for weeks closed up in a week.
Amazing.
So we had no time to come home from vacation and relax and I need a do-over. No way we can get another house to rent, but we have a tent. and that's all I need. We're heading outt for July 4th weekend since Mark isn't booked that weekend. And at the Jersey Shore, unless you live directly ON THE BEACH, or have a bike- you will not be able to see fireworks on the beach without having to deal with the 4 hour traffic jam to get back to your house 5 minutes away. I had enough stress. LOL.
So that was fun- vacation>MRSA.
Tamoxifen hell has leveled off a bit, but still stupid. The bone pain has gotten worse, but the hormonal crap has gone down since my period came back last month. It felt eerily similar to when it comes back after you have a baby. The crazies have stopped- YAY.
I still hate this drug and the fact it has made me 80 years old.
I am pushing past it though and walking the boardwalk, trying to garden left handed, stay active.
It helps.
Today is day 2 of an 8 week raw food detox I'm starting because I just feel like shit- and I'm tired of feeling like shit. I stopped juicing in the last 4 weeks because I got violently ill the last time (another pleasant side effect). I had slacked- gained some more pounds and finally couldn't take it anymore. In 2 weeks, I go completely raw for a whole month. It's going to feel very very good to get the chemo, and the anesthesia, and all that radiation shit OUT.
and start repairing my body back to how it used to be. Even before I started working at that horrible chemical factory.
I'm also noticing for the first time in 5 years, I have color on my skin. I'm OUTSIDE. every day.
I did finally get to see Dr. Miller a week after Melody's MRSA fun, and I was given the all clear after a very thorough exam of my lymph nodes and "breasts". The pain in my back was muscular thank goodness, it went away with heat. Scary. I had felt one spot on my back that was hurting for weeks. and getting worse.
Tomorrow I follow up with Dr. Cairoli.
Thankfully, I have health insurance again as of June 1st thanks to the state of NJ- and despite the step down from work's plan- the choices are scant. But my doctors are on the plan. YAY!
I don't know if I have to go for any scans- I'll find out. I hope not.
I can't wait to get back to Dr.Patel... I need my chest fixed once and for all. Angelina Jolie keeps trying to one-up me. I can't take it anymore.
Overall, I'm tired and still wacky with sleeping and being in pain- but getting better a little bit every day. Finding the joy in festivals again too- I come home from them like a kid coming home from Disney. When can we go again?! I love festivaltown. My Stonehenge was cancelled this year, so we have a few we will be going to. Good for the soul. And I should be strong enough to take the kids with us. Melody is a music and dancing and crazy freak child- a sheer opposite of her older sister. She has yet to experience a festival fully. Can't wait.
Walking is the only issue. I can't do that for very long before the pain hits and I need to sit down. I am so elderly. (Meanwhile, the husband just turns 55 and has more energy than me.).
Getting my house to be livable, cleaned up and organized is also a huge goal.
This detox is going to be awesome. And I'll fit into my jeans again.
I hope it fixes this leg pain.
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